People are shaped by their backgrounds, their culture, upbringing and that is going to affect the way they do things. So, if people are coming from different backgrounds, it is just possible that they might have different opinions and different perspectives to certain situations.
Intertribal marriages have their own unique challenges and the individuals involved have to compromise on culture and values that they might not have had to discuss if they married someone from a similar background.
Notwithstanding, marriage has its own challenges and marrying from a different tribe isn’t the root of all marital challenges. The Intertribal challenge may mostly stem from when either parents or family at large find it hard to accept someone different from their tribe or culture.
Here are some tips for making an Intertribal marriage work:
ASK QUESTIONS
Find out why your parents are having issues accepting your partner. It could be that they fear their culture will be lost and one culture would be more emphasized, especially when you start raising children.
They may also be afraid that the individual marrying into their family may not value their culture or adapt to it. Let them understand that both cultures will be valued equally and properly passed on to your children.
BE REALISTIC ABOUT YOUR EXPECTATIONS
Before even contemplating marriage, think about the reaction of your own family and friends, are they okay with it? If they aren’t, brace yourself to receive worse treatment from the people you don’t know i.e. your spouse’s family. You can’t force them to like you but you can make up your mind not to let their negativity poison your marriage.
KEEP YOUR FAMILIES INVOLVED
Do not cut your family off! Even if your family aren’t in support of the intertribal marriage, don’t cut them off. You will need their support, they are the ones you can run to for advice, don’t stay away from your spouse’s family either, visit them and try to build a connection with the family.
BE MINDFUL OF YOUR OWN JUDGMENTS AND PREJUDICES
You might even be unaware of this but you might have certain perceptions and prejudices about your spouse’s tribe. This usually has to do with how we are raised and our experiences with other tribes while growing up, be aware of what those things are and talk to your spouse about them.
Making a marriage work whether inter-tribal or from your own tribe takes commitment and it doesn’t happen overnight. You need to work with your spouse so that together, you can overcome challenges that may come your way.
