Every relationship is presented with certain emotional tasks that partners need to accomplish together for their bond to grow and deepen. This comes down to attaining a rich understanding between partners. A relationship needs this understanding in order for couples to feel safe and secure in it.
Although every happy relationship is different, every relationship has solvable problems and unsolvable problems.
Dr. John Gottman, storied marriage researcher and author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, has identified 4 of the most typical areas of marriage conflict.
We will discuss 3 of them in this post
1. TECHNOLOGICAL DISTRACTIONS
While communication issues have many causes, a common culprit in today’s world is the seemingly endless number of notifications from our digital devices. They have become a distraction from the real connection right in front of us.
Spending so much time on your device takes away from real time communication.
The solution: If your partner is complaining that you’re more focused on your phone than your relationship, that’s an issue you need to take seriously, even if you don’t agree.
The fastest solution is to sit down together and come up with an agreement.
This could be an agreement that both partners will not text, check email, or update their social profiles during specific times of the day or particular events, such as date night, mealtime, or when either of you need to talk. It’s vital that this agreement feels fair to both of you.
2. MONEY
One of the most common areas of conflicts in marriage is about money, how to spend it, and how to save for the things that truly matter.
Whether your bank account is full or you’re just getting by, you are bound to have conflict over money since money is so symbolic of our emotional needs.
Balancing the emotional realities of money may lead to conflict if not properly managed.
The solution: Most arguments about money are not actually about money. You need to check beneath the surface value to understand what money means to each of you.
Before budgeting, take time to have a constructive conversation about money and discuss any financial gridlock issues.
After, that take time to prioritize your spending and then lay out an action plan for financial freedom.
3. HOUSEWORK
When couples don’t do their agreed-upon share of the housework, issues in all aspects of the relationship may be impacted. One partner is left feeling disrespected and unsupported, which leads to resentment and ultimately, a less satisfying relationship.
Every relationship is presented with certain emotional tasks that partners need to accomplish together for their bond to grow and deepen. This comes down to attaining a rich understanding between partners. A relationship needs this understanding in order for couples to feel safe and secure in it.
Although every happy relationship is different, every relationship has solvable problems and unsolvable problems.
Dr. John Gottman, marriage researcher and author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, has identified 4 of the most typical areas of marriage conflict.
We will discuss 3 of them in this post
- TECHNOLOGICAL DISTRACTIONS
While communication issues have many causes, a common culprit in today’s world is the seemingly endless number of notifications from our digital devices. They have become a distraction from the real connection right in front of us.
Spending so much time on your device takes away from real time communication.
The solution: If your partner is complaining that you’re more focused on your phone than your relationship, that’s an issue you need to take seriously, even if you don’t agree.
The fastest solution is to sit down together and come up with an agreement.
This could be an agreement that both partners will not text, check email, or update their social profiles during specific times of the day or particular events, such as date night, mealtime, or when either of you need to talk. It’s vital that this agreement feels fair to both of you.
- MONEY
One of the most common areas of conflicts in marriage is about money, how to spend it, and how to save for the things that truly matter.
Whether your bank account is full or you’re just getting by, you are bound to have conflict over money since money is so symbolic of our emotional needs.
Balancing the emotional realities of money may lead to conflict if not properly managed.
The solution: Most arguments about money are not actually about money. You need to check beneath the surface value to understand what money means to each of you.
Before budgeting, take time to have a constructive conversation about money and discuss any financial gridlock issues.
After, that take time to prioritize your spending and then lay out an action plan for financial freedom.
- HOUSEWORK
When couples don’t do their agreed-upon share of the housework, issues in all aspects of the relationship may be impacted. One partner is left feeling disrespected and unsupported, which leads to resentment and ultimately, a less satisfying relationship.
Every relationship is presented with certain emotional tasks that partners need to accomplish together for their bond to grow and deepen. This comes down to attaining a rich understanding between partners. A relationship needs this understanding in order for couples to feel safe and secure in it.
Although every happy relationship is different, every relationship has solvable problems and unsolvable problems.
Dr. John Gottman, storied marriage researcher and author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, has identified 4 of the most typical areas of marriage conflict.
We will discuss 3 of them in this post.
1. TECHNOLOGICAL DISTRACTIONS
While communication issues have many causes, a common culprit in today’s world is the seemingly endless number of notifications from our digital devices. They have become a distraction from the real connection right in front of us.
Spending so much time on your device takes away from real time communication.
The solution: If your partner is complaining that you’re more focused on your phone than your relationship, that’s an issue you need to take seriously, even if you don’t agree.
The fastest solution is to sit down together and come up with an agreement.
This could be an agreement that both partners will not text, check email, or update their social profiles during specific times of the day or particular events, such as date night, mealtime, or when either of you need to talk. It’s vital that this agreement feels fair to both of you.
2. MONEY
One of the most common areas of conflicts in marriage is about money, how to spend it, and how to save for the things that truly matter.
Whether your bank account is full or you’re just getting by, you are bound to have conflict over money since money is so symbolic of our emotional needs.
Balancing the emotional realities of money may lead to conflict if not properly managed.
The solution: Most arguments about money are not actually about money. You need to check beneath the surface value to understand what money means to each of you.
Before budgeting, take time to have a constructive conversation about money and discuss any financial gridlock issues.
After, that take time to prioritize your spending and then lay out an action plan for financial freedom.
3. HOUSEWORK
When couples don’t do their agreed-upon share of the housework, issues in all aspects of the relationship may be impacted. One partner is left feeling disrespected and unsupported, which leads to resentment and ultimately, a less satisfying relationship.
The solution: Have a conversation about housework and split up chores so it feels fair to both partners. Create a list to determine who should do what. Use this list to talk about how things are currently handled and how you would like them to be handled.
When you can resolve conflicts or problems successfully, you are developing a healthy, mature relationship between you and your spouse.
Which of these areas do you experience conflict in your relationship? How do you deal with it?
